WHAT ABOUT ME?

Micael

the best at being me

Let's talk about one of my biggest on-going life lessons.

 As human beings, we naturally find ourselves reflecting on our experiences in relation to others. Our society constantly measures us — grades, rankings, skills, job performance — fueling a cycle of relentless self-evaluation. And in a world that claims to be meritocratic (although it's anything but), resisting the urge to compare seems impossible for me. Yet, this year I'm trying to remind myself there's a healthier way to navigate all this.

Consider our bodies, for instance. When I see someone with flawless skin, no body fat, and a perfect smile, a fleeting thought always crosses my mind:

Why am I not like this?

And even if you are satisfied with your body, you are probably comparing your salary, your relationship, the house you live in… It is natural. However, this is only an immediate comparison. It's not a good comparison because it's a very shallow one: It only looks at a snapshot of life that culminated into that result.

Real growth comes from stepping back a little to try to see the whole picture. 

• How long has this person been training?

• How much time they have available to exercise?

• What is this person's diet?

• What is their routine?

• What are the genetic factors that propelled the results they achieved?

• Does their body type favor some activity that mine doesn't?

In 99% of cases, this context will be extremely different - and then the whole comparison starts to make a little less sense.

Despite our shared biology, we are very different beings because of our contexts. Each of us has a very different story, and the only real parameter for comparison you have is yourself. It might seem obvious saying it, but only you have lived the experiences you have lived in the context you have lived. Using others as your parameter simply doesn't make sense.

The body was an example, but I do have a tendency to compare me with absolutely everyone and then beat myself up for not being enough. There will always be someone prettier, richer, better… And the grass is always greener on the other side. However, when I am able to stop the meaningless comparison and use me - in my own context - as a paremeter, I am usually really proud of where I am with my life and what I have achieved so far.

Conclusion: The most authentic benchmark you have to measure your achievements is the person you were a year, a month, or a day ago. Your journey is yours alone and surface-level comparisons serve only to paralyze us. I'm still learning how to handle my self-comparisons, but I do think I am dealing way better with them than I was before, and that’s enough for now.

Micael.