What About Me 14°

I received a job offer last week. The position was from one of my dream companies. I decided to turn down the job offer.

Author

Micael Balioni
March 23, 2024

WHAT ABOUT ME?

Micael

i’m over the moon. I got a yes. And now?

Dear all,

I hope you’re all doing great and that you’ve found joy and inspiration in the latest edition. I received a job offer last week.

The position was from one of my dream companies— a company that I must have applied to over 30 times without ever getting a response. I completed all the stages, and for the last one, I dedicated an entire weekend to creating the best presentation I had ever done for a business case. "Is this a good moment? Congratulations, we want you in our team." 

BUT - accepting this position would mean accepting a significant cut to my salary — a decision that would not just alter my lifestyle but completely change how I live. It would mean moving to a cheaper place and maybe even finding a second job for the weekends… But the thing is: The younger Micael would have leapt without looking back. I have no doubt that I would have accepted and done whatever it took to make it work. But at that moment, I found myself hesitating at the edge of that leap. Was it fear? Was it comfort? Or perhaps, was it growth? 

We often construct identities around narratives we tell ourselves, like the favorite color we claim out of habit rather than preference. “My favorite color is green” you said when you were five; "My favorite color is green" you said when you were eight, and then ten, eleven... Until one day, you realize you prefer yellow. And you have been preferring yellow for a long time actually…

  • The truth finds you in a quiet moment, and we realize we’ve been living a palette that no longer fits.

After a turbulent weekend, and some fruitless negotiations, I decided to turn down the job offer. It was a tough choice, but it felt right for who I am now and where I want to go. My psychologist said, “It seems like you’re scared of not wanting what you always wanted.” That really made me think. Maybe the real challenge isn’t in changing but in accepting that change within ourselves.

Life shapes us. Our desires, our dreams, even our favorite colors are subject to the tides of change. It might be easier to accept the latter, but it takes a moment of profound honesty to confront these shifts and acknowledge that maybe the person we are today may not fit the dreams of yesterday.

So, I share this reflection with you, not just as a recounting of my past few weeks, but as an invitation to introspection. Look within and ask yourself: Do the dreams of your past still hold the keys to your fulfillment? Or have you outgrown them? 

There’s a profound courage in acknowledging that what once defined you - may no longer serve you.

With all my love,

Micael.