This past week we had our first Team Building at work — one that I helped organize with a colleague. We went to a mountain retreat (basically a cozy B&B) and spent a couple of days doing group activities. And because we’d been planning it for weeks, brainstorming activities and all, the whole idea of team has been stuck in my head lately.

 Some people say nothing brings people closer than a shared enemy. That more than love, it’s hate that binds. In the workplace, that usually translates into stressful situations — late nights, tight deadlines, high-pressure moments. That’s why so many team-building activities are designed around obstacle courses, mud runs, or extreme challenges. Stress unites. I do agree with that — though I try to avoid the “hating” part.

But there’s another theory I like much more: that knowledge brings people closer. I truly believe that if we got to know our colleagues on a more personal level — their favorite movies, their quirks, their insecurities, the way they think — it would be almost impossible not to fall for the humans around us. People are plural by nature, and once we open up space to really see each other, closeness becomes inevitable. (Provided, of course, that they’re good people — small but important detail!)

• Lately I’ve been reflecting a lot on my own teams. Who’s beside me? Who do I want beside me? Ideally, I’d love to say “everyone” — the more the merrier. But it’s not like that. Quantity isn’t quality, and some people simply aren’t a match for our team. And that’s okay.

Looking back at this team building — from dance classes to quiz nights and walking tours — I came to one conclusion: I’m really lucky. Looking around, I felt like part of something bigger than myself. And I know I took little pieces of them with me — that I’ll carry within my core now.

Maybe that’s the magic of finding the right team: metaphorically and literally speaking, we end up always carrying each other.

With love,

Micael.