What About Me 45°

Author

Micael Balioni
June 01, 2025

WHAT ABOUT ME?

Micael

goodbye my friend, hello heartache

 My heart has been so full these past two weeks. Three dear friends came to visit me in Milan, and I reconnected with an important friendship here too. It reminded me of something I hadn’t felt in a while — that deep, simple joy of being with people who really know you.

Now that we’re adults, we don’t make friends on the playground anymore. The comings and goings in our lives slow down, and honestly, the scale starts to tip more toward people leaving than arriving. Over time, I’ve come to accept that some friendships just fade because they no longer make sense for where we are — and that’s okay. Life happens. But relationships — all relationships — require care and time.

There’s a lot of talk online lately about “low-maintenance friendships” — the kind where you don’t need to talk often, but when you do, it’s like nothing changed. I love that idea. But I also think there’s a hidden danger in it: it can become a justification for neglect. A way to quietly let people slip away.

  • No extreme is good. If you’re constantly exhausted by a friendship, maybe something’s off. But if you never invest in it, it weakens too. And lately, I’ve felt this happening in my own life.

My routine is chaotic — too much work, keeping up with the house, eating right, writing here… And when the weekend comes, all I want is to rest. Alone. I used to be the person who messaged friends regularly, who sent endless audios or had my weekend packed with people. And somewhere along the way, I stopped. And I got lonelier.

  • Our productivity culture sells us the idea that all our free time should be used to optimize ourselves — exercise, self-care, therapy, meditation. All good things, yes. But all inward-facing. And when all your energy goes into yourself, you stop showing up for others. We become more selfish, not out of malice, but because our lives are built to make us that way.

Friendship is an exercise in stepping outside your own bubble. It’s not just about what feels good for you, but about showing up for someone else — even when it’s inconvenient. Even when it’s just a 10-minute voice note. Even when you’re tired. Because the truth is: time doesn’t grow friendships. Attention does.

And these past few days reminded me of that. Being surrounded by friends, laughing over dinner, walking through the city together — it filled me up in a way that no solo routine ever could. It was a warm reminder that yes, self-care matters, but so does letting yourself be cared for. Letting people in and caring for them as well.

Thanks for the amazing friends that were part of these magical encounters.

With love,

M.